8 Ridiculous Conspiracy Theories That Blame Satanists For Almost Everything
The Discovery Of The Higgs-Boson Was A Part Of A Luciferian Ritual
Beginning in 2009, scientists at CERN (the European Organization for Nuclear Research) commenced use of the Large Hadron Collider to search for the Higgs Boson, the last unobserved fundamental particle in the Standard Model of particle physics, and the key to unlock the mechanism that gives mass to elementary particles. Conspiracy theorists believe, however, that CERN is actually a Satanic cult with designs on opening an interdimensional portal to Hell or some other dimension.
"Proof" can be found in the LHC's effects on weather patterns, recent earthquakes, and the space-time continuum. There are also reports that the scientists at CERN are actually performing Satanic human sacrifice rituals in order to increase their chances of opening a portal to another dimension so they can jumpstart the apocalypse.
After a video of scientists at CERN performing Satanic rites made its way around the internet, journalists at Huffpo debunked the video by saying the footage was actually a recording of CERN employees goofing off. A spokesperson for CERN maintained that "CERN does not condone this kind of spoof, which breaches CERN's professional guidelines, and is currently carrying out an internal investigation."
- Photo: Segunda Guerra Mundial / Flickr / Public Domain
There are no easy explanations for something as nuanced and globe-spanning as a world conflict. One group whose shoulders were broad enough to place blame upon WWII would be the Third Reich. As the theory goes, the Thule Society was an occultist group active in the early 20th century in Germany, which eventually morphed into the Nazi Party. The organization was founded on the belief that the Aryans were the greatest race, and that humans of this specific bloodline originated in Atlantis. They also believed the Earth was hollow and filled with a race of giants and that Aryans would one day travel to a planet called Aldebaran in Taurus, which is about 65 light years away.
Theorists believe that while a young Hitler was digging through his family records, he discovered that his biological grandfather was Baron Rothschild, a Jewish fellow who also happens to be a part of many New World Order conspiracies. Subsequently, he was afraid he would be blackmailed over his bloodline. This is where the conspiracy theory gets murkier. After The Thule Society trained Hitler to be a confident public speaker and instilled in him a desire to track down a series of biblical items in order to rule the world, he immediately invaded Austria so he could destroy his birth records and allegedly ended up jump-starting WWII.
The American Government Is One Large Exploitative Satanic Ring
Photo: AnthonyTPope / Wikimedia Commons / CC BY-SA 4.0In almost every decade since the 1970s, there have been scandals, rumors, and accusations of an exploitative ring existing within the United States government that ties into an elite Satanic cabal. While the modern version of this story, "Pizzagate," involves internet sleuths misconstruing phrases like "cheese pizza" as code words for relations with a minor, there were some medium-level Republican politicians who were involved in a scandal about exploiting children in the late '80s and early '90s.
At the time, Larry E. King, the manager of the Franklin Community Federal Credit Union, was a rising star in the Republican party, and he allegedly allocated funds from the credit union in order to help fund underage pleasure parties with politicians. Reports claimed King ushered children through the White House for midnight liaisons with high-ranking officials.
- Photo: The National Guard / Flickr / CC BY 2.0
One theory about WWI begins in 1784, when Adam Weishaupt, a Jesuit professor of canon law, renounced Christianity and became a practicing Satanist. He organized the Illuminati and they began working on a long con to destroy all religions and bring about the end of the world. It took about 100 years, but after the 1840 dissolution of the "Auxiliary Indian Troops" for committing acts of atrocity, General Albert Pike found himself in the tutelage of the Illuminati and decided that a one-world government was ideal. After becoming a Luciferian priest, he decided to get to work on "ending the world."
It took almost 20 years, but beginning in 1859, Pike wrote out a blueprint for three world conflicts which were meant to act as super rituals to bring about the apocalypse and call Satan to Earth. He settled into his home in Arkansas and wrote that WWI would be fought in order to help the Illuminati to overthrow the Tzars of Russia and make the country fall in line with atheistic-communism. Afterward, communism could be built up and used to weaken religion with communists' general lack of faith. Pike's overall hopes for what would happen after the three world battles were as follows:
Citizens, obliged to defend themselves against the world minority of revolutionaries, will exterminate those destroyers of civilization, and the multitude, disillusioned with Christianity, whose deistic spirits will be from that moment without compass (direction), anxious for an ideal, but without knowing where to render its adoration, will receive the true light through the universal manifestation of the pure doctrine of Lucifer brought finally out in the public view, a manifestation which will result from the general reactionary movement which will follow the destruction of Christianity and atheism, both conquered and exterminated at the same time.
- Photo: MichaelVadon / Wikimedia Commons / CC BY-SA 4.0
How do religious conspiracy theorists know that the man who was elected 45th President of the United States is a plant given a seat of power by the Lucifer-loving Illuminati? It's all in the hand gestures for the conspiracy theorists.
Not only does he constantly throw up the three-fingered "okay" sign that provides a 666 for his home audience, but he's also prone to prominently displaying the devil horns (a backward peace sign).
You Can Tell Barack Obama Is A Demon Because He Smells Funny
Photo: Marc Nozell / Flickr / CC BY 2.0Rather than use talking points to discuss why President Barack Obama may or may not be in league with the Dark Lord, Alex Jones decided it would be more appropriate to say the 44th President worshipped Satan because he was constantly surrounded by flies.
In an interview with End Times talk radio host Steve Quayle, the two grown men agreed that President Obama was constantly surrounded by flies because his Satanic obedience made him smelly. Quayle explained Obama's supposed body odor by saying:
Michelle Obama - and you should have your guys look this up - was talking about his odor, now I'll tell you why. Beelzebub in the New Testament means Lord of the Flies. Lord of the Flies. Beelzebub is another name for who? Satan.
JonBenét Ramsey Was A Satanic Sacrifice
Photo: Taurusrus / Wikimedia Commons / CC BY-SA 3.0Many Americans have become caught up in the death of JonBenét Ramsey on December 25, 1996. The sheer volume of conspiracy theories surrounding this case rivals the assassination of JFK and the moon landing. Much of this speculation revolves around people trying to wrap their heads around the tragic passing of a 6-year-old girl.
Many theorists believe that JonBenét's death was a part of a Satanic ritual known as "The Last Bulb of the Christmas Tree," which was first performed by Third Reich Doctor Josef Mengele, and that in 1996, the ritual was carried out by a local Satanic ring who was operating in the Boulder and Sedalia, Colorado, areas. It's hard to find information on what exactly the "Last Bulb" ritual is because many conspiracy theory websites that discuss the ritual say it ties into the Cabalistic tree of life, which isn't an explanation. It seems that nothing about the JonBenét Ramsey case will ever have a complete answer.
Washington, DC Was Constructed As A Satanic Home Base
Photo: Francisco Diez / Wikimedia Commons / CC BY 2.0Many theorists believe that Pierre Charles L'Enfant, the man who was in charge of designing Washington, DC's layout, hid occult symbols in his designs in order to turn the city into an altar to Satan. Not only are there multiple pentagrams woven into the streets of DC, but many of the cul-de-sacs become a triple 6 from an overhead view, and multiple Masonic symbols pop up in the strangest of places.
The entire design of the city is allegedly meant to imbue the city with a sense of dark energy.
